[originally posted 9/29/2006]
Agent Carl tip-toed up just as Nelson fell to his feet, but one of the more disgruntled aliens heard the tip-taps of his tip-toeing, turned around, and stepped on his poor little cat head.
This changed things immensely, because Nelson's mythical prophecy relied on Agent Carl/his pussycat to save his life once before he could rise to heroic proportions, and now, without Agent Carl, the prophecy could not come true. Or could it?
Cordova looked at Nelson lovingly, longingly. Oh the time they would have on their date. She was planning on kissing him that night, something she knew would be special. Now, maybe, just maybe, if she kissed him, he might wake up and save her. Like Sleeping Beauty.
She leaned over, slowly, closed her eyes, gently pursed her lips, and put her arms around Nelson.
Then, just before she could lay one on him, Thwack!!!!, the doors to the alien spaceship shaped like a loaf of bread flew open, and The General, manning a prototype Robot, designed but not quite finished by his scientist Herboglitz shortly before his untimely death, stormed his way into the innocent alien crowd.
"Out of my way," The General commanded from his windowed perch inside of the robot's skull, as he proceeded to stomp through the apathetic alien crowd using what looked like a joystick to maneuver. He accidentally squashed a couple aliens, leaving what looked like mashed up celery in his wake. Cordova backed up as the robot approached, and, since the General could not see directly beneath the robot, one of the robot feet landed on Nelson's head in a costly misstep.
At this point things spiralled out of control. Nelson's head burst from the weight of the robot leg, confused aliens were shouting incoherently about the universal need for dental hygiene, beautiful Cordova was hysterical and her mascara was running, and the SWAT team, pulling up behind The General's robot, were willy-nilly firing bazookas. The scene quickly became a bloody mess.
On a monitor in Cat Headquarters, the cat General watched as the havoc ensued, contemplatively brushed his whiskers with his paws, and closed his eyes as he gave the hardest orders of his short cat life.
"Press it. End it, end it all."
He was referring to the "RED BUTTON", the button that would end all life on earth.
And his second in command, Bippy, a gray tabby cat, pressed it.
The world ended.
Now, you may wonder how I this story could be written, or even read, if the world ended. Well, it's too complicated to get into here, but I am writing this from "the other side". You are reading it from the same place. Shame about Nelson, huh? Guess he didn't have enough help to pull through. Things just didn't swing his way, eh? Ah, well, the cool thing is, there's all this eternity in the afterlife, and, well, while there may be nothing left of the material world, there's plenty ethereal-ness to go around.
Be good now, you hear?
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