Lost Angeles episode 1: Escondido Falls

Los Angeles is a sprawling city. One a skeptical Colorado boy looks at and says, "Pshaw! Outdoors! Closest thing are waves at the beach. Where's the hiking? Where's the mountain biking? The camping, the fishing, etc.?" No, here, the best opportunity to see a wild animal is at the beach (the water animals, not the women in bikinis). And mostly, I'm right (about the bikinis). So far. But I haven't given up. While California lacks the big tall things we call mountains with breathtaking views, hearty challenges, and wide vistas, it has something else: expanse. It's a big state. And Los Angeles is a big city, so certainly there are nooks and crannies galore. Plus it does have a combination of the best of both worlds. Tree-filled hills (mountains for the Californians; hills for the Coloradans, I stick up my nose), and the ocean (which is quite breathtaking especially at and because of a polluted sunset). Most certainly, a gem here and there provides the "escape" all Angelinos (I know me) yearn for.

Now, I've been to a few stinkers in Los Angeles, and while the northern expanse of the state seems much more inviting to the outdoorsman, I'm still holding out hope that there are trails that will prove me wrong. Alas, I've even been told of such trails. Thus, this is what I intend to do with "Lost Angeles": find those trails, let people know they're good, and warn others of what to stay away from. So on with it!

Episode 1: Escondido Falls
Tucked away somewhere in Malibu, amidst gigantic homes, past private driveways, down a forbidden fire road, lies a trail, and beyond that, in the Angeles National Forest, dead things. I hear.

But we didn't see any, and we weren't ourselves killed. Even though it was a sunset hike. And even though Aubrey complained about ticks the whole way.

The trailhead for Escondido Falls is unmarked, really, it just starts, and it's not exactly the easiest place to get to. You have to park in a lot by Highway 1, and walking up through the neighborhood you realize the reason you can't park closer is less because it will crowd the trailhead and more a powertrip by all the rich folk that want to make sure you know you're a peasant. But walk on, simpletons, the trail is inviting.

My hiking partner, the beautiful Aubrey, and I walked on paved road for about a mile through a ridiculously rich part of Malibu - but what isn't rich there? I led the way to the trail while she lagged and questioned me (as per usual) whether I knew what I was doing or not to which I replied my usual response: "Yes, of course." And I proceeded to lead us blindly (as also per usual) into a mountain lion infested jungle.



Between her "You have to walk loud so the things in the forest know you're coming" as she stomped behind me to "OOOhhhhhhAhhhhh!!!! A bug's crawling on me. It's crawling on me. It's in my bra!!" to her incessant fixture on the idea that she had ticks in her pits, Aubrey was a real sport, and I'm glad she was there to share in my wonder. Since she'll undoubtedly be my companion, forced by circumstance, on many of these future excursions, I wish to say thank you in advance. (And that we'll be revisiting this place real soon.)

It was a beautiful hike, tucked away and secluded from most city sounds. An airplane or two littered the air, but for the most part it was just us and the wind. Soon we heard the gentle sound of running water and crossed a creek, which we crossed three more times before realizing that the frogs shut-up every time we came near to their homes. Apparently they're afraid of outsiders.

The trail was narrow, so wear pants if you go, but it was worth it. The smells of nature, not car exhaust, were intoxicating. Fresh flowers, a hint of pine, manurey water, ahhh. Breathe it deep.

We passed a few hikers on their way back and I worried that we wouldn't make it even to one of the waterfalls advertised in my hiking guide before dark. Luckily, we did, and just in time. The waterfall was beautiful. That's all I can say. Coming up on it I felt like the Goonie Mikey Walsh when he found the well. The pictures should supplement your imagination if my words are lacking. Describing the wonders of nature is not one of my strong suits. It was cool.



The low-down. It was a gem, and I'm excited to get back and explore the rest of the trail and see the other waterfalls. If this was the small one...

As far as getting lost in Los Angeles, Escondido Falls is a great escape. Oh, and, um, walk loudly. Let the jungle things know you're coming.